“Sex: The force for change that has written out the history of world culture.”
All human progress is fueled by desire for sex.
Sex has always been the “ultimate reward”.
Heck, from a biological/evolutionary perspective it’s your sole purpose on this planet.
But by re-wiring this reward-mechanism by porn & excessive masturbation we’ve screwed ourselves over. Instead of striving for this reward through work, we’ve resorted to lesser ways of release.
Leading to a deterioration in life quality.
By consciously directing this reservoir of sexual energy we are able to make great advances in our professional and personal life.
Are you directing yours or spludging it on your bed-sheets?
The Omnipresence Of Sexuality
Let’s face it; sex is pretty much the only reason we do anything.
Although it doesn’t get talked about, it’s subconsciously on everyone’s mind. It’s why people want status, money, fame, friends, looks and so-forth.
People might deny it, but I’m talking about the sub-conscious level. There’s no escaping our pre-programmed nature through logical thought.
“We are merely one of a multitude of species upon which nature indiscriminately exerts its force. Nature has a master agenda we can only dimly know.” ― Camille Paglia
From a biological point of view, reproduction means your “evolutionary success.”
In a sense; if you ain’t “getting some” you’ve failed your only real reason to be alive, really..
You might ignore it, you might avoid it or even justify to yourself it isn’t important (pain-avoiding denial).
But it’s a BIG fucking deal; In the work-place, with your friends, family and especially the media.
It’s an incredibly delicate topic to talk about your attractiveness and successes with the other gender. It proves our “suitability” for reproduction (or otherwise worthlessness). Our reproductive self-worth so to speak.
It’s the main reason people like Kim Kardashian and Jen Selter
are so popular make any kind of money. It’s the reason rich men can get hot women.
(I’m not against that, I believe using your reproductive value is obligated. Play the game by the rules)
Here’s how the “sex” game works these days;
- Man’s main reproductive value is based primarily on his social status and wealth, which is measured through his behavior (confidence, intelligence, character, self-discipline, social skills, …)
- Women’s main reproductive value is based primarily based on her fertility, measured through her looks (big boobs, big ass, 0.8 hip-to-waist ratio, hair length, hair-color, ovulation …)
Successful men (or potentially successful men) get attractive girls. And vice versa.
And therefore everything in life is directed at acquiring (or faking) those traits. It’s the only motive strong enough to get people to take action.
Wherever you look sex is re-purposed to serve some kind of motive. Whether it’s selling more products, attracting more customers or straight-up pay per view porn.
It’s the ultimate motivator for mankind.
It’s an underlying trend that rarely is addressed in daylight, but is subconsciously on everyone’s mind (NSFW).
What Is Sexual Energy?
So we spent a great deal of our time and energy on producing hormones, producing semen/eggs, spending mental energy on fantasizing about sex and women.
All this combined “desire”, that urge, is called “sexual energy”.
When re-directed, this energy can lead to great productive and creative achievements that can lift us up as human species.
Many human advances (most?) have originated for our hunger for sex.
Patchen barss – on the cover of his book “The Erotic Engine” – argues that ;
“From cave painting to photography to the internet, pornography has always been at the cutting edge in adopting and exploiting new developments in mass communication. And in so doing, it has helped to promote and propel those developments in ways that are rarely acknowledged. Without pornography, the internet would not have grown so quickly.
The e-commerce payment systems that are now commonplace would be at a far more primitive stage security and usability. Without video streaming software developed for pornography sites, CNN would be struggling to deliver news clips. Without advertising from sex sites, Google could not have afforded YouTube.”
Sex gets shit done.
And let’s face it; there’s no motivation greater for a man to try something new if it involves getting his needs met. It allowed new technology to improve & survive the early developing days and become cheaper and more portable over time so it can become available to the mainstream.
So, what’s the problem?
We’re not directing this power, we’re wasting it.
There are two main problems I’ve seen: Excessive masturbation & watching pornography.
Why Is Masturbation Bad?
We spludge our precious energy all over our bed-sheets. Masturbating in a dark corner in front of a screen.
Sexual desire stops motivating since we screw up the incentive by resorting to self-service.
And even more: almost every man masturbates. I don’t know of many friends who consciously abstain from masturbation.
Satisfied needs do not motivate.
Let me repeat that;
Satisfied needs do NOT motivate.
If you have everything you want at your fingertips (pun intended), guess what’s going to happen?
More ejaculations = less mating effort.
Why Is Porn Bad?
Porn has become so omnipresent and easily accessible our youth runs into it before they experience the real thing.
With the increasing desensitization to porn we need more and more extreme measures to even get hard with real girls.
Sexual satisfaction shouldn’t be achieved virtually but only in reality. Instant sexual satisfaction has become so easily accessible through the internet that modern society has become obsessed by it. We’ve stopped caring about the real thing and have become so desensitized about sex that it has led to unnatural extremes.
In some countries and with some men, pornography has taken a heavy toll. They’ve become so addicted to instant gratification and masturbation that they just can’t get turned on by “normal” girls at all.
They’ve become convinced that porn and masturbation is better than the real thing. They’d rather gratify themselves in the comforts of their own home than go out and approach a girl on the street.
It makes you lazy, unmotivated, depressed and addicted even.
Why Harness Sexual Energy?
Here’s my experience with porn, masturbation and ejaculations.
The more I ejaculate, the lazier I get. That’s the bottom line really.
I get tired, fatigued and lethargic. I feel weak.
Your semen is the energy/resources (sexual energy) necessary that drives your desire to do shit. Without it, you’re just not looking to get anything done. You’re already “emptied out” without your animal drive, pushing you to excel.
You got low testosterone and no “desire”
Here’s the story of a person who lost all his testosterone and describes what it feels like.
Testosterone is the hormone of desire. And by that, I don’t mean sexual desire. I mean desire, period.
Everything that I identify as being me, my ambition, my interest in things, my sense of humor, the inflection in my voice, the quality of my speech even changed in the time that I was without a lot of the hormone.
I had no interest in even watching TV, much less reading the newspaper or a book. Food, I didn’t want my food to taste good or interesting.
It changes everything I know as my self. (From the Transcript)
Napoleon Hill addressed this sexual energy in his book “Think And Grow Rich”;
When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it.
When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.” – Napoleon Hill, TAGR
Or like David Deida said in “The Way Of The Superior Man;
“As you live your life with more and more true
purpose, you won’t accumulate so much tension during the day.
Then, you will discover that ejaculation, for the most part, actually depletes and weakens you.
It feels great for a few moments, but the price you pay for the
genital sneeze of ejaculation is a much higher level of mediocrity
in your daily life. You will find that you just don’t have the extra
gusto necessary to live your life with utter impeccability. Excess
ejaculations pave the road to living a good life, but not a great
In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage
to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for
doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that
you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or
make that important phone call.
You will have enough motivation to live a decent life, but ejaculations drain you of the “cutting through” energy that is necessary to pierce your own wall of lethargy and slice through the obstructions that arise in the world.” – David Deida, WOTSM
So… how can you cultivate your sexual energy?
How To Harness Sexual Energy?
If you want to get better results in your life, don’t spill your seed on useless matters. Cultivate it and transform this energy into creative force that will bring you more substantial results after a while.
The Taoists said that you should limit ejaculations to increase longevity, focus and vitality.
“In sexual love relations a man should permit himself to ejaculate 2 to 3 times out of 10 times of sex to preserve his “life force”
Abstinence – not from sex – but ejaculation is the key to doing this.
You should NOT live a sexless life. Sex and orgams are necessary for a great mood and life satisfaction. It also energizes you to take on bigger the challenges.
It’s the emission of your seed that’s the problem. It drains you.
Here are the rules;
- No Ejaculations
You can still have sex and orgasms but fewer ejaculations. It’s the replenishment of the seed that requires all the energy.
It’s the gift of life for the next generation that you’re wasting.
“Huh? I can have sex and orgasms but no ejaculations? What’s that for black magic?” – You, being confused
Here’s how you can separate the two;
How To Separate Orgasm & Ejaculation?
Ejaculation and orgasm can be separated by contracting the pc muscles (the same you use to hold back pee when you need to go to the bathroom). If you’ve never done this before it’s going to be incredibly awkward during sex.
So this is what I would advice initially;
Masturbate until just before “the point of no return.” But take your time for it. It’s not about coming but about practice. Masturbation sessions should last about 20 to 30 minutes. Incrementally work towards it.
Here are some tips;
- Be sure to keep your body completely relaxed whilst you do this, don’t tense your body. The more you put tension on your body, the faster you’ll cum.
- Breath slowly. Our degree of arousal is closely link with the speed at which we breath. Try to breath 5 seconds in, hold for two, and breath out for five again.
- If you get close to the point of no return. Stop everything and do 10 full, strong contractions as you were trying to hold in your pee. Let the arousal wane a bit
- Repeat this 15 times. Don’t ejaculate.
- Coconut oil – thank me later.
After a while you’ll be able to surpass the point of no return whilst keeping your pc muscles tightened, stopping the ejaculation but not the orgasm. As a result your penis will stay hard, won’t be extremely sensitive and you won’t have the refractory period (recovery period).
Basically, you’re good to go again.
Eventually, you’ll be able to do this during sex which will give you much more satisfaction, make you feel more energized and hornier than ever.
More driven imo.
Additionally, you’re able to remain hard and orgasm multiple times (my record is 6 solo, three during sex #TMI). Your girl will be able to get multiple orgasms too, since you can last (almost) indefinitely, which makes her more confident, perform better and happier.
And who doesn’t love seeing their girl enjoy herself?
Best of both worlds eh?
By training your pc muscles during solo practice you’ll incrementally get better at controlling and restraining your ejaculation to the point you can last indefinitely. You can practice solo as a warm-up for “the real thing”.
During sex, when you get close to the point of no return, use what is called “locking the gate”
- Stop thrusting, hold your breath, squueze your pc muscles tightly and retreat (so only your tip is inside your girl).
- Take a deep breath and hold it, then do 10 rapid, strong contractions of your pc muscles, anal sphincter and your glutes.
- Clench your teeth, press tongue against roof of mouth
- Straighten your neck and back
- Clench fists
- Exhale after contractions (repeat cycle if necessary)
Just talk about it with your girl that you would like to “try something new.”
By preserving your semen and opting for dry orgasms (good) over spludge orgasms (bad) you’ll get the following benefits;
- You can have multiple orgasms
- She can have multiple orgasms
- You don’t have energy/motivation drains from ejaculations
- You can last indefinitely (almost at least)
- You feel more driven (that’s what I’ve noticed)
- It increases testosterone (study)
- Other noted benefits, courtesy of reddit
Less ejaculations = more energy and desire to do shit.
Don’t waste your precious seed in front of a stupid screen but go out and get a grip on life (and not your dick). In the end it’s definitely worth a shot, even if you think it’s not going to do much good.
Also: You need a creative exhaust for your sexual energy to be channeled into something more productive: a company, a passion, a blog or a project you’re working on. Otherwise it will find lesser ways of release.
Men are builders – so you should be building shit.
Here’s what you do, even if you’re not that into it;
Try it for 30 days using my 30-day Challenge Calendar and see if you don’t notice any improvements. My recommendations;
- Don’t masturbate nor watch porn at all for 30 days.
- Practice the solo dry orgasms through masturbating x amounts of days for 30 days.
- Practice the sex dry orgasms with your girl (but don’t ejaculate) for 30 days
Report back how you feel on this post.
Ultimately, the goal is to feel alive and energized AND have a fulfilling sex life in the end. I think this is the way to go.
Additional Resources you should check;
- The Multi-Orgasmic Man (How to become multi-orgasmic)
- Secrets Of Sexual Ecstacy – The oriental art of ejaculation control (How to control ejaculations)
- NoFap (Official Website) (Website on not masturbating)
- Bulletproof Sex (Social proof)
- Harness Sex Energy (Social proof)
Dave Asprey & Christopher Ryan on the nature of human sexuality;
Thanks for reading this post on cultivating your sexual energy. If you think this article can help out a chronic masturbator you know, be sure to pass it around ;) Anyway, if you’re having any more thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to leave a comment in the section below.
Note: I’m (fairly) active on Twitter now. I think there’s too much “noise” on Facebook.
Take care & stay strong.
NoteNote: Cool Song