In my day-to-day life I’m often very busy chasing certain objectives ‘till the point that I forget to actually enjoy my time on this planet. I get stuck in these boring routines until my life just feels straight-up empty! Therefore I’ve made a decision to focus more on the things that actually make me feel more alive!
The key to being happy is growth (IMO). Someone once told me that what isn’t growing, dies. And I actually thought quite a bit about that statement and found it to be a universal truth. This applies to everything! Trees, animals, people, you name it!
Therefore the pursuit of growth (a.k.a. “excitement”) should be the main focus of our lives! Growth always happens outside our comfort zones. Whenever we embark upon something new, challenging or daunting, we feel a sense of excitement in our body caused by the anticipation of the unknown.
Whenever you feel you aren’t challenged anymore, when life becomes dull and meaningless. Then it’s absolutely time to switch things up and explode beyond your limitations!
Introducing: Comfort Challenges!
It’s nothing new since everyone has probably heard of them in one way or another. Basically, comfort challenges involve growing in any particular way that you’re interested in. Focus on the challenges that are outside your comfort zone. The ones that can provoke a feeling of failure or rejection. These are the only two fears we have!
Here’s a master of fear that might be able to inspire you; Remi Gaillard
So what exactly are comfort zone challenges? The mastery of fears! Pick something you really feel fearful towards, something you’re afraid to do. And just do them!
Some great examples I’ve tried in the past are;
- Shouting in public
- Jumping in a river in the middle of the night
- Going out to nightclubs and approaching random women
- Dancing on the countertop of a club (not even drunk :D)
- Growing out my hair
- Making eye contact on the street (until the other person looks away)
- Recording myself on video and uploading it to youtube
- Jumping out of a 350m high, helium-balloon
- Asking less money from my parents to support me
- Contacting people for guest posts
- Lying down in the middle of a crowded square
- Lying down in the middle of the entrance of a train station
- Sleeping on a beach (attempt à to cold haha J)
- Jumping in the Ocean at 8 AM (also pretty cold)
- Doing push-ups in the middle of a club
- Going out during the daytime and approaching women
Anything that breaks your social conditioning (within reason) will transform this fearful energy into confidence and a unexplainable feeling of “invincibility”. Who has the courage to do x? Life favors the bold!
Imagine that you actually achieved the things you are afraid off. How would you feel? How would you behave?
For example; You set out to talk to a pretty girl on the street and she actually liked you! And after that you dared to ask for her number. How alive wouldn’t you feel?
Destroying limiting beliefs is the best feeling you can have in the world. It makes you wonder about all the other things that are holding you back in life.
“Fear is not the enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow”. – Steve Pavlina
Define Your Fears!
Firstly, write down what a certain fear has cost (negative experiences) you in the past and what it will cost you in the future if you don’t let go of it. Are you willing to sacrifice your dream for the fear of being ridiculed? Are you willing to settle for less when all it takes is just a little bit (or sometimes a big amount) of courage?
Secondly, write down all the positive outcomes you’ll get for destroying this fear. What will you gain from it?
Then just go out and do whatever is necessary!
Take note that you don’t have to be confident to do something! This is a mistake a lot of people make. Confidence is simply a sense of value. Value is subjective! As long as you don’t let anyone feel more valuable than you, you cannot possibly fail.
Another great website to help you find ideas for overcoming your fears of rejection is randomthingsto
A Little Story…
Sometimes I’m to much in my own head to talk to women in nightclubs and that’s a guaranteed promise for a bad night out. Therefore I just literally talk to myself to shut the fuck up and do the things I’m afraid of. Visualizing the pain I’m going to get for not talking to women.
Once this was so real for me. Recently, I went out with some of my closest friends and we were having a great deal of fun together; Talking to women, flirting, dancing, doing a load of crazy stuff :D
At the end of the night, me and my friend were both flirting with the same girl. I’d say she was one of the cutest girls I’ve met over the last couple of months. But because I lacked the courage to actually seal the deal and kiss her, my friend was able to swoop in and claim the “prize”.
This made it painfully clear to me that when I don’t go after what I want in life, I won’t get it and someone else will run away with it. I literally had to force myself to smile the remainder of that night. But inside I was broken. I’ll never forget that night and nowadays I use it as fuel to destroy these fears in nightclubs.
This way I’m driven to actually take what I want. Nothing is more motivating than emotional pain.
“You are confined only by the walls you build for yourself” – Anonymous
What should you take away from this article? Challenge yourself! Find new ways that excite you! Break out of that comfort zone and reach new heights! I’ve included many examples of things you could do to break trough your fear of failure and rejection. Simply GROW!
If you have any other comfort challenges you want to share with me, please do! Excitement (read: growth) is what gives meaning to our lives.
Anyways, If you’re having any random thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below!
“Courage is rightly considered the foremost of virtues, for upon it, all others depend.” – Winston Churchil