This is a book review of the book “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. Skip to “Practical” and “Recommendation” for my advice on the book.

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Author

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who came in contact with many people who were not only physically scarred but also emotionally (trough the dis-empowering beliefs they held in their mind)

Therefore he started to research the connection between the self-image and belief systems. His research and findings have been documented in his books. (Amongst which is Psycho-Cybernetics)

Summary

Psycho cybernetics goes into great depth to discover the effect our mind has on our life. He talks about concepts like visualization, self-image, belief systems, corrective feedback, aging and many more.

“Your brain serves you, not the other way around”

“If this thought is constructive we’ll have it, if not, we’ll discard it”

Essence

Self Image

The self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand your self image and you expand the area of the possible. (the same is true for your perception of reality)

“You act and feel not according to what things are really like but of the image your mind holds of what things are like”

The past does not equal the future

“I am who I choose to be”

(imagine yourself as you’d like to be)

Stop identifying and condemning yourself for mistakes/failures. You are not your mistakes.

A typewriter doesn’t become worthless after making an error

Beliefs 

• Perception (self-suggestion vs. auto-suggestion)
• References (visualization, experience)
• Time (summation of references)

Visualization

The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and one imagined vividly and in detail. (practice basketball vs visualizing basketball = same progress)

We have skills and talents that are disabled by our belief-systems (visualize yourself doing GREAT (reference) at something new and you will do GREAT

Success Instinct

Humans reach goals through success-instinct (= goal + desire + action & corrective feedback) Like a torpedo getting closer to its target our mind “fires and forgets” until it reaches its target trough self-corrective feedback.

“When we set out to find a new idea /answer we must assume that the answer exists already.”

Humans are able to find extrasensory information (connect the dots)

Therefore our mind will automatically suggest the answer to the problems we focus on by closing the gap between current situation and desired situation. This is a servo-mechanism which continuously works in our favor. So focus on feeding it the desired information

Life Force

It is not retiring from a job that kills men, it is retiring from life. (people who fall into a “existential vacuum” after they retire, age very rapidly because they don’t know what to do.

Life force: Use it or lose it.

Life force is the energy that propels us towards our goals. Create the need for more life and your body will supply it. Faith, courage, goals, purpose, interest, optimism; GROWTH.

Practical

• Visualize your best self, daily; How do you want to be, feel and act?
• Visualize how you want (new) events to go like
• Visualize yourself as the controlling energy inside your heart-chamber (higher consciousness), that is the “real” you. Your body is the vessel/machinewhichis controlled by your “spirit”
  • Creates shift in perspective
  • Distantciation of problems/worries
  • Retreat for relaxation
• Write down your disempowering beliefs and identify what pain they cause in your life (pain/pleasure principle on beliefs)
• Concrete relaxation (legs/arm/head is made of concrete), happy room in heart (relaxation chamber visualization)
• Changing beliefs
  • Self-suggest empowering beliefs
  • Create references trough visualization and experience
• Changing emotions;
  • Language
  • Focus (Negative mental emotions are changed by controlling your mental imagery. “When you’re playing music you don’t like, change the record”)
  • Physical
• Ultimate 21-day challenge;
  • I will be as cheerful as possible
  • Friendly
  • Less critical, more tolerant
  • Act as if success is inevitable
  • I already am the person I want to be
  • Practice smiling at least 3x/day
  • Regardless of what happens I will act as calmly and intelligently as possible
  • I will ignore completely and close my mind to any and all negative thought patterns in my head which I can do nothing to change
• Socialdisinhibitors (excessive carefulness leads to inhibition and anxiety)
  • Don’t wonder in advance what might happen
  • Don’t plan but act
  • Stop criticizing yourself
  • Speak louder than normal
  • Let people know you like them
  • Physical relaxation (“Let the bell ring”, it’s not you, don’t answer)
  • Make a quiet room/happy room in your head and retreat in your room everyday (relaxation/meditation)
• Never disengage from life. Disengagement out of life creates aging (retirement from work vs. retirement from life) Keep growing creates the need for more life.

Recommendation

MUST READ

I recommend you to also read my post on Reprogramming Your Brain

“The Blueprint for success is inside you. It will stay there unless you take it out and create it” – Larina Kase

I’ve always had a constantly shifting character during the weeks. Sometimes I would be grumpy and really silent whilst other times I would be the most fun and outgoing guy you’ve ever met.

People had broad opinions of me and I didn’t really come over as being “congruent” whilst shifting between these different personality types.

Furthermore I wasn’t all that excited about my life and just drifted along, not really caring what I would do with my days. Making decisions like playing video games for 6 hours a day, not going out, eating crap (not literally) and so-forth.

I didn’t really have something that could “guide” me in the right direction.

Sounds familiar?

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PMS: The Blueprint For Your Life

(personal mission statement, that is. Basing your life on that other pms is not-so-fun :/)

This stopped when I found a great way to get more clarity and meaning in my life by writing for myself a personal mission statement

Basically, what a personal mission statement is, is a piece of paper or a word document which contains three essential things that form the foundation for your life.

• Your Identity (Who are you?)
• Your Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)
• Your Vision (How do you see your life?)

“personal mission statements based on correct principles are like a personal constitution, the basis for making major, life-directing decisions, the basis for making daily decisions in the midst of the circumstances and emotions that affect our lives.

When we create a mission statement of our own and choose to live by it we can flow with changes. We don’t need prejudgments or prejudices. We don’t need to figure out everything else in life, to stereotype and categorize everything and everybody in order to accommodate reality.”

 

Stephen R. Covey

Why Should I Write A Personal Mission Statement?

A personal mission statement simply provides clarity and gives you a sense of direction in your life.

See it as a map that will guide you to the life you want to have. When you’re guided in life by this changeless sense of who you are, why you’re alive and what you value in life, there are no difficult choices and you’ll always know what the most effective use is of your time, your talents and energy.

You’ll “flow” with change.

You always know what the best option for you to take is. The same way like a river won’t mistake its way back to the ocean, so will you not lose the path to the life you want (if you live accordingly, that is)

• You’ll choose to work-out instead of staying at home since you value your health
• You’ll live by goals
• You’ll stop watching porn and masturbating
• …

It is basically the blueprint/foundation out of which your actions will flow. 

• When in doubt in a certain situation it will provide you clarity. The logical answer will become clear since you’ve already defined what you value ahead of time.
• When depressed you can re-read it, to regain a sense of significance in your life.
• It will define your perception of the world and structure what you think are “truths”. This view will either create or destroy you, since your beliefs are basically self-fulfilling prophecies

So make sure you’re not building your life on a crappy foundation. Bad decisions come from bad foundations. Bad lives come from bad foundations.

“Aight dude, sounds pretty fancy! Let me build a good foundation then..”

“How do we write this thing?”

1. DOWNLOAD –> My Personal Mission Statement
2. Let’s get to work ↓

1) Identity (Who are you?)

The first part is really really simple (retard-proof simple)

Who do you want to be? 

Don’t stay stuck in old beliefs that ruin your life man. When you think you’re;

• Not confident
• Lazy
• Depressed
• Unworthy
• Unattractive
• Boring
• …

Guess what’s going to happen?

You will be like that.

It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe to be true about yourself is what will become reality for you. So why believe the stuff that destroys your life?

Dis-empowering beliefs get you no-fucking-where in life. Last time I checked, that’s not very far…

They are poison which aims to corrode you from the inside-out.

Solution?

Choose to re-define who you want to be and stop believing all the bullshit you tell yourself. Simple to say, harder to apply.

You can find a more detailed analysis of how to do this in the article above but I’ll give you a short summary of how I approach this;

Re-Defining Yourself

Just change the way you look at yourself by re-defining your beliefs and values.

Over the years we’ve been defined by our environment trough social prejudices and negative experiences

For example;

• When everybody says you’re good looking, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re good looking.
• When everybody says you’re not confident, guess what you’re going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re not confident.
• When your first experience in dating women was bad, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you’re bad with women.
• When you had sex for the first time and it was bad, what are you going to believe about yourself? –> That you suck in bed
• …

Sounds logical?

Many people stay stuck with these beliefs for a great deal of their life, not knowing that they are just based on bad references and that we can actually change them (I’ll write a more in-depth post on changing beliefs in the future) How To Change Disempowering Beliefs And Re-program Your Brain

So what should we do?

The key to re-defining yourself is taking control of this conditioning and just choosing who YOU want to be and how YOU see yourself. 

There’s three steps to re-defining yourself;

1. Do a critical self-reflection
   See where your personal flaws lay (your “bad” character traits and dis-empowering beliefs)
2. Correct your character flaws/limiting beliefs
   We do this by defining the values you want to live by and changing what you WANT to believe about yourself
3. Live it up
   Actually live according to the values and beliefs you’ve set out for yourself.

Assuming an improved identity will be hard to “believe” in the beginning until you’ve build up enough references to actually back your identity up. But you just need to persist in living according to what you want to believe in order to create the references to actually back that belief up.

Makes sense?

For Example:

• You won’t believe you’re good with women until you’ve successfully approached one (or several ones). But you won’t successfully approach them if you don’t believe you can. See the contradiction?

Basically, fake it until you build up enough references to start believing in it. Motion before emotion.

“Act like A King to be treated as one”

I’ve talked more in-depth about this topic in the article; How To Define Yourself

2) Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)

Lack of purpose is the main cause of depression in our life. People who live in the “modern world” have all their basic needs pretty much satiated. Stuff like food, shelter, sleep and security have robbed our body of its natural instincts and we fall into an “Existential vacuüm”.

we’ve become detached from direction since our instincts are no longer telling us what to do in order to survive.

“Alright, I got food, shelter, sleep and security… What now?”

That’s basically what our body is telling us.

Solution?

Find your purpose… Duh.

If you’ve read “Man’s Search For Meaning” By Viktor Frankl (HIGHLY recommended) you’ll know that a sense of higher meaning can be found trough three things in life;

• In doing some type of work
  > An important “life task”
• By encountering experiences or people
  > People who you would die for or by experiencing “enlightening” events that clarified why you are on earth
• In facing heavy suffering
  > In times of heavy suffering there ‘s the opportunity to “find yourself” by stripping away everything but the bare essentials

So start to ask yourself some key questions to find out what it is! Good questions to start with;

• Why do I want to get out of my bed everyday?
• Who do I want to live for?
• What do I want to live for?
• Why do I want to go trough these struggles of life?
• Why do I want to be alive?

More information on this part can be found in my post on “How To Find Your Purpose”

“I would hate to die and not do what I was born to do” – TD Jakes

3) Vision (How do you see your life?)

We don’t only bullshit ourselves about who we are, but also about how we look at the world (again, trough social conditioning and “bad’ experiences a.k.a. reference experiences).

Go figure that..

Gee, thanks brain…

Again, like in the first part these are limiting beliefs that become self-fulfilling prophecies and basically rob ourselves of everything we want out of life.

“People react not only to the situations they are in, but also, and often primarily, to the way they perceive the situations and to the meaning they assign to these perceptions.

 

Therefore, their behavior is determined in part by their perception and the meaning they ascribe to the situations they are in, rather than by the situations themselves.

 

 

Once people convince themselves that a situation really has a certain meaning, regardless of whether it actually does, they will take very real actions in consequence.”

The truth is this: The same way as we define ourself, we define our own reality by shaping the beliefs we have about our world. It shapes how we think about everything

• When you constantly watch the news with their negative headlines, guess what you’re going to believe in the long-term? –> “The world is cruel, violent and a ‘bad’ place
• When you haven’t had a relationship for a long time, what will you believe? –> “Women are scarce and are not interested in me”
• When you haven’t had an exciting life since you didn’t actively pursue excitement , guess what your mind will tell you? –> “There are no opportunities in life”
• When you constantly watch porn, how will this change your perception in the long-term? –> A HUGE penis is what makes “real men” and I can’t satisfy women enough.
• …

See what I mean?

Alright, you might not think the last one (although there are men who do) but I think you agree with me that these self-proclaimed realities are hindering you to get what you want out of life.

And therefore we should (again) take control of this.

• If you want to get fit and you don’t have great genetics, what do you do?
• If you want to find a great girl but you believe they are not interested in you, what will you do?
• What if you want to get a load of money but you believe you need to cheat for that?

Stop this kind of thinking right now. It’s a cage you have build for yourself.

Solution?

Create your own reality

“How Simon?” 

I hear you asking. (yes, I have psychic powers)

This is the same way as we define our-self. What world do you want to believe in? One that’s abundant, rich, joyful and happy or one of great depression?

(That’s a rhetorical question)

Here’s some things I perceive as truth;

For Example

• Women are abundant
• Opportunities are abundant and I can grab them when I want
• I can be a millionaire if I work hard enough in the right direction
• My life can be awesome if I want it to be
• I can have a six-pack if I work for it
• My reality is the best one
• People love me
• Everything I have to say is interesting and valuable
• …

Whenever we condition our-self to believe that the world is great, it will become so. Perception will become reality if we can find enough references to back it up.

Rise above the BS “reality” you’ve been taught by the media to create your own, empowering world.

It’s the only way to be truly fulfilled, happy and all that great stuff.

Again, as with your identity, fake it until you build up enough references to really believe in it. That’s the way we re-program our mind and assume a new reality. (Like I said, I’ll write another post on re-shaping beliefs in the future)

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anaïs Nin

Essence

Alright, that’s your blueprint for life! Pretty straight-forward yet difficult to apply.

So what do I want you to do now?

Write the blueprint for your life already! This 1 hour investment of your time will yield HUGE benefits in the long-term

It has helped me immensely with my confidence, social relations, financial situation, health and so-forth.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a solid base (roots) for your life to have a successful life.

Start now! Figure out exactly;

• Your Identity (Who are you?)
  > Re-definine who you want to be
  > Stop believing your conditioned BS and build up new references
• Your Purpose (What’s the meaning of your life?)
  > Find out why you are alive!
• Your Vision (How do you see your life?)
  > Again, create for yourself the world you want to live in!

Writing this down has helped me to get massive clarity in the morning about my life. What kind of person I’m shaping myself into, what the reason is why I get out of bed and my general approach to living.

A code of conduct that will infallibly bring you to where you want to be in life.

So…

What are you waiting for?

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If you feel like this post can help anyone out that you know, feel free to share it with your friends or send it in a mail to your mom! It helps me out a lot! If you’re having any thoughts or questions on this topic, feel free to share those with me in the comment section below.

Take care,

Love,
Simon